Football is more than just touchdowns, field goals, and fourth-quarter heroics—it’s also a prime opportunity for humor, especially of the “dad joke” variety. Whether you’re tailgating in the parking lot, coaching the little league, or shouting from the stands, there’s always room to sneak in a groan-worthy pun or a sideline zinger. Football dad jokes offer a special brand of comedy: pun-laden, harmlessly cheesy, and packed with enough corniness to fill a concession stand. This article rounds up 45 original football dad jokes that will have fans of all ages rolling their eyes—or laughing out loud, depending on how many flags have been thrown on the joke itself. Get ready to kick off the giggles!
45 Hilarious Football Dad Jokes That Score Every Time
1. Why Did The Football Team Go To The Bank?
To get their quarterback!
2. What’s A Football Player’s Favorite Type Of Sandwich?
A sub that never gets benched.
3. Why Don’t Football Players Get Hot?
Because they have too many fans!
4. What Did The Football Say To The Kicker?
“I get a real kick out of you.”
5. Why Did The Ref Go To Art School?
He wanted to learn how to draw better flags.
6. What Do You Call A Ghost Who Plays Football?
A field ghoul.
7. Why Did The Football Player Bring String To The Game?
To tie the score!
8. What Position Does A Pig Play On A Football Team?
Oink-back.
9. Why Was The Football Team So Good At Geometry?
They always had the right angles.
10. What Did The Coach Say To The Broken Vending Machine?
“Give me my quarterback!”
11. Why Was Cinderella Kicked Off The Football Team?
She kept running away from the ball.
12. Why Did The Football Player Go To Therapy?
He had too many issues with his tight end.
13. What’s A Football Player’s Favorite Ice Cream Flavor?
Rocky Road to the Super Bowl.
14. Why Don’t Linemen Ever Get Lost?
Because they always follow the snap.
15. Why Did The Wide Receiver Break Up With His Girlfriend?
She kept intercepting his texts.
16. Why Did The Football Coach Go To Jail?
He was caught with too many offenses.
17. Why Did The Football Player Cross The Road?
To get to the end zone.
18. What’s A Linebacker’s Favorite Snack?
Sacks and cheese.
19. What Did The Football Fan Name His Dog?
Fumble, because he always drops the ball.
20. Why Did The Quarterback Bring A Pencil To Practice?
To draw up plays.
21. Why Was The Field Goal So Calm?
Because it knew it would make a point.
22. What Do You Call An Honest Football Player?
Frank Gore.
23. Why Don’t Football Players Make Good Dancers?
They always step out of bounds.
24. Why Did The Ref Always Bring A Ladder To The Game?
To reach new heights of officiating.
25. Why Was The Running Back Late For Dinner?
He got tackled by traffic.
26. Why Was The Football Team Always Invited To Parties?
They know how to bring the punch(line).
27. What’s A Kicker’s Favorite Musical Instrument?
The kick drum.
28. Why Did The Football Player Open A Bakery?
He was good at turnovers.
29. What Do You Call A Football Team That Never Wins?
The Underdog Millionaires.
30. Why Did The Coach Sit On The Bench With The Players?
He needed a timeout from parenting too.
31. Why Was The Football So Full Of Himself?
Because he thought he was the center of the game.
32. What Did The Cheerleader Say To The Football?
“You’re such a catch!”
33. Why Do Football Players Make Terrible Detectives?
They always tackle the wrong guy.
34. What Did The Football Player Do When He Lost His Playbook?
He ran a Hail Mary… to the printer.
35. Why Was The Coach So Good At Cooking?
He always had a game plan.
36. What Do You Call A Retired Football Player?
A goal digger.
37. Why Did The Football Team Buy A Calendar?
To keep track of their tight ends.
38. Why Are Football Stadiums Always So Cool?
Because they’re full of fans.
39. Why Did The Player Sit On The Ball?
Because he wanted to be on the bench.
40. Why Was The Football So Shy?
It didn’t want to be kicked around.
41. What’s A Football Team’s Favorite Type Of Music?
Punt rock.
42. Why Did The Football Player Open A Farm?
To raise his own offensive line.
43. Why Did The Player Take A Ladder To Practice?
To get to the next level.
44. What Did The Quarterback Say After A Breakup?
“I need a new game plan.”
45. Why Was The Scoreboard So Good At Math?
It always kept count!
Conclusion
These 45 football dad jokes bring humor to the huddle and laughter to the locker room, reminding us all that the game isn’t just about wins, losses, and stats—it’s also about having fun. Whether you’re a lifelong fan or a weekend warrior, cracking a corny joke or two adds an extra kick to any football gathering. So the next time you’re gearing up for a big game, keep a few of these groan-worthy gems in your back pocket. After all, a good laugh might just be the best play of the day. Touchdown, dad jokes!
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