Let’s be honest—dad jokes are a love-hate relationship. They sneak up on us in the quiet of a family dinner, at a friend’s barbecue, or when we least expect it during a serious conversation. Their formula is simple, their timing questionable, and their impact unforgettable. They’re groan-worthy, eye-roll-inducing, and often make us wonder why we didn’t see the pun coming from a mile away. And yet… we laugh. Against our will, we laugh.
In 2025, dad jokes have reached new levels of absurdity and genius. Whether you’re here to groan, giggle, or gather ammunition for your next pun-off, these 90 jokes are painfully delightful reminders of why we say we “hate” dad jokes—while secretly hoping for just one more.
90 Reasons I Hate Dad Jokes (But Can’t Stop Laughing)
1. What’s Brown and Sticky? A Stick.
2. I Only Know 25 Letters of the Alphabet—I Don’t Know Y.
3. I Used to Be a Banker, but I Lost Interest.
4. I’m Reading a Book About Anti-Gravity—It’s Impossible to Put Down.
5. Why Can’t You Hear a Pterodactyl Go to the Bathroom? Because the P Is Silent.
6. I Don’t Trust Stairs—They’re Always Up to Something.
7. Want to Hear a Joke About Construction? I’m Still Working on It.
8. Why Did the Scarecrow Win an Award? Because He Was Outstanding in His Field.
9. I Told My Wife She Was Drawing Her Eyebrows Too High. She Looked Surprised.
10. Why Don’t Skeletons Fight Each Other? They Don’t Have the Guts.
11. I Used to Play Piano by Ear—Now I Use My Hands.
12. I Would Tell You a Joke About an Elevator, but It’s an Uplifting Experience.
13. My Friend’s Bakery Burned Down—Now His Business Is Toast.
14. Don’t Trust Atoms—They Make Up Everything.
15. I Was Going to Tell a Time-Travel Joke, but You Didn’t Like It.
16. I Used to Hate Facial Hair, but Then It Grew on Me.
17. I’ve Got a Great Joke About Amnesia, but I Forgot It.
18. Why Did the Coffee File a Police Report? It Got Mugged.
19. I Was Addicted to Soap, but I’m Clean Now.
20. Why Don’t Scientists Trust Atoms? Because They Make Up Everything.
21. I Wanted to Be a Doctor, but I Didn’t Have the Patients.
22. The Rotation of the Earth Really Makes My Day.
23. I Used to Work for a Blanket Company, but It Folded.
24. Why Did the Math Book Look Sad? It Had Too Many Problems.
25. I Told a Joke About Paper—It Was Tearable.
26. I’m No Good at Math, but I Know When Something Doesn’t Add Up.
27. I’m Friends with All Electricians—I’m Well-Connected.
28. The Guy Who Invented Lifesavers Made a Mint.
29. What Did the Buffalo Say to His Son Leaving for College? Bison.
30. I Can’t Believe I Got Fired from the Calendar Factory—All I Did Was Take a Day Off.
31. I Once Got into a Fight with a Broken Elevator—It Was Wrong on So Many Levels.
32. I Bought Shoes from a Drug Dealer—Don’t Know What He Laced Them With, but I Was Tripping.
33. Parallel Lines Have So Much in Common—It’s a Shame They’ll Never Meet.
34. I Named My Dog Five Miles So I Can Say I Walked Five Miles Today.
35. I Put My Root Beer in a Square Glass—Now It’s Just Beer.
36. I Wrote a Song About Tortillas—Well, Actually, It’s More of a Wrap.
37. I Gave All My Dead Batteries Away—Free of Charge.
38. I Got a Job at a Bakery Because I Kneaded Dough.
39. I Opened a Bakery That Only Sells Bagels and Sadness—It’s a Hole-in-the-Soul Shop.
40. I Don’t Want to Brag, but I Finished My Puzzle in Six Months—It Said 2–4 Years on the Box.
41. I’m on a Seafood Diet—I See Food and I Eat It.
42. I Cut My Finger While Slicing Cheese, but I Think I’ll Be Gouda.
43. I Can’t Believe I Got Hit in the Head with a Can of Soda—Luckily, It Was a Soft Drink.
44. I Used to Be a Tap Dancer, Until I Fell into the Sink.
45. I Wanted to Learn How to Drive a Stick Shift, but I Couldn’t Find a Manual.
46. I Don’t Like Velcro—It’s a Total Rip-Off.
47. My Dog Used to Chase People on a Bike—It Got So Bad I Had to Take His Bike Away.
48. I Told My Computer I Needed a Break—Now It Won’t Stop Sending Me Kitten Videos.
49. I Was Going to Tell You a Joke About a Broken Pencil, but It’s Pointless.
50. I Didn’t Want to Believe My Dad Was Stealing From His Job as a Traffic Cop—But When I Got Home, All the Signs Were There.
51. My Friend Says to Me, “What Rhymes with Orange?” I Said, “No It Doesn’t.”
52. I Bought a Belt Made of Watches—It Was a Waist of Time.
53. I Once Got a Job as a Human Cannonball—It Was the Bomb.
54. I Got a Job at the Orange Juice Factory, but I Got Canned—I Couldn’t Concentrate.
55. I Asked the Librarian If the Library Had Books on Paranoia—She Whispered, “They’re Right Behind You.”
56. The Guy Who Stole My Diary Just Died—My Thoughts Are with His Family.
57. I Failed My Braille Class—It Wasn’t Worth the Touch.
58. My New Thesaurus Is Terrible—Not Only Is It Terrible, It’s Also Terrible.
59. I Once Got Stuck Inside a Broken Escalator—It Was a Real Step Down.
60. I Accidentally Swallowed Some Food Coloring—The Doctor Says I’m OK, but I Feel Like I’ve Dyed a Little Inside.
61. I Couldn’t Figure Out How Lightning Works, but Then It Struck Me.
62. I’m Not a Fan of Spring Cleaning—Let’s Be Honest, I’m Not a Fan of Spring or Cleaning.
63. I Told My Wife She Should Embrace Her Mistakes—She Gave Me a Hug.
64. I Invented a New Word! Plagiarism.
65. I Accidentally Bought a Snorkel Instead of a Straw—It Was a Sucking Mistake.
66. I Couldn’t Figure Out How to Use My Seatbelt—Then It Clicked.
67. My Friend Keeps Saying, “Cheer Up, Man, It Could Be Worse.” He’s Right—I Could Be Listening to Another Dad Joke.
68. I Got Hit With a Perfume Bottle—It Smelled Like Brutality.
69. I Told a Joke About a Roof—It Went Over Everyone’s Head.
70. I Had a Joke About a Broken Clock, but It’s Not the Right Time.
71. I’m Terrible at Hide and Seek—Good Players Are Hard to Find.
72. I Went to a Seafood Disco Last Week—Pulled a Mussel.
73. I Bought a Boomerang That Won’t Come Back—I’m Returning It.
74. I Asked My Dog What’s Two Minus Two—He Said Nothing.
75. I Broke Up with My Gym—We Just Weren’t Working Out.
76. I Tried to Write a Joke About a Pencil Sharpener, but It Was Too Dull.
77. I Wanted to Be an Astronaut, but My Career Never Took Off.
78. I Don’t Like Jokes About Hills—They’re Too Up and Down.
79. I Gave Up My Job as a Personal Trainer Because I Felt I Wasn’t Fit for It.
80. I Once Fell in Love with a Traffic Light—She Had Me at Stop.
81. I Took a Job at a Keyboard Factory, but I Didn’t Have the Right Shift.
82. I Started a Business Selling Yawns—It’s a Real Sleeper Hit.
83. I Wanted to Be a Mirror Installer—I Could Really See Myself in That Job.
84. I Got Into a Fight with a Vending Machine—It Wasn’t Dispensing Justice.
85. I Opened a New Store That Only Sells Duct Tape—It’s a Fixer-Upper.
86. I Asked a Frenchman If He Played Video Games—He Said “Wii.”
87. I’m Not Lazy—I’m on Energy-Saving Mode.
88. I Made a Belt Out of Lottery Tickets—It Was a Waist of Money.
89. I Wanted to Take a Job in a Mirror Factory, but I Couldn’t See Myself Doing That.
90. I Can’t Believe I Got Reincarnated as a Ladder—Talk About a Step Up in Life.
Conclusion
If you made it through all 90 of these groan-inducing gems without throwing your device across the room, congratulations—you’re either immune or deeply infected with the dad-joke virus. Despite our protests, despite our “ugh”s and eye-rolls, dad jokes continue to survive because they hit a nerve we all share: the joy of clever silliness.
In the end, saying “I hate dad jokes” might really just mean “I hate how much I love them.” Whether you’re stockpiling these puns for revenge or already planning your next pun-laden conversation, remember: humor doesn’t have to be edgy or complicated to be effective—it just needs a dad behind it and a well-timed groan.
And if you still hate dad jokes after all this? Don’t worry. There’s probably a support group. They meet weekly… but the jokes are even worse.
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