In the wacky world of dad jokes, few punchlines have the sticking power of the classic “tooth hurty” gag. This pun—built entirely around the way “two-thirty” sounds like “tooth hurty”—has become a cornerstone of dad-joke culture, passed down through generations of groan-worthy humorists. And in 2025, the joke still has enough bite to leave us giggling and grimacing in equal measure.
The charm of “tooth hurty” lies in its versatility. It can be twisted, stretched, and reimagined in dozens of delightfully dreadful ways. Whether you’re a dentist, a dad, or just a fan of puns, there’s no denying the timeless allure of a well-placed “tooth hurty” joke. In this collection, we present 47 completely unique and freshly minted “tooth hurty” dad jokes for your comedic consumption—each with its own original twist and without a single repeat.
So sit back, flash those pearly whites, and prepare to be pained—in the best way possible.
47 Timeless “Tooth Hurty” Dad Jokes That’ll Make You Groan
1. The Appointment That Broke the Clock
I asked the dentist what time my extraction was. He said, “Tooth hurty—don’t be late, or your molar might!”
2. The Vampire’s Least Favorite Hour
Why did Dracula cancel his dinner plans? It was tooth hurty—he couldn’t bite into anything without wincing.
3. The Time-Traveler’s Cavity
I set my DeLorean for tooth hurty, but ended up with a filling from the 1800s.
4. The Alarm Clock’s Revenge
My alarm rang at tooth hurty. Now my tooth and my ears are both aching.
5. The Barber With Dental Advice
Went in for a haircut and the guy asked, “How’s tooth hurty treating ya?” I hadn’t even mentioned my toothache.
6. The Cow With A Schedule
What time did Bessie the cow moo the loudest? Tooth hurty—right after she bit into frozen grass.
7. The Octopus At The Dentist
Why did the octopus bring eight appointment cards? Because all its tentacles hurt at tooth hurty.
8. The Mechanic’s Toothache
My car started making weird noises at tooth hurty. Turns out it just needed a good floss.
9. The Librarian Who Knew Too Much
I asked for a quiet time to read. She said, “Tooth hurty, the books know when it’s ache o’clock.”
10. The Pirate’s Daily Routine
What time did the pirate say “Arrgh”? Tooth hurty, after he cracked his gold tooth on a cannonball.
11. The Jogger Who Bit Pavement
I tripped during my run at tooth hurty. Apparently, that’s when sidewalks fight back.
12. The Time Zone Confusion
I moved to a different country but still had a toothache. Turns out, it adjusted itself to local tooth hurty time.
13. The Ice Cream Truck Incident
Bought a cone at tooth hurty. One bite, and suddenly I was speaking in cavities.
14. The Dentist Who Moonlights As A DJ
He only spins at one time: tooth hurty. The beats are painful, but punctual.
15. The Broken Mirror Warning
Looked in the mirror at tooth hurty. My reflection winced harder than I did.
16. The Snake With Braces
Why did the snake hiss louder at tooth hurty? It had an emergency with its invisible aligners.
17. The Knight With a Toothache
Sir Chomp-a-lot retired after his last battle… at tooth hurty, against the mighty Plaque Dragon.
18. The Mars Rover With Molars
NASA reported the rover shut down at tooth hurty. It claimed to have a plaque build-up in the gears.
19. The Spy With a Sensitive Molar
Agent Molarenko cracked under pressure—right at tooth hurty when his gum started leaking secrets.
20. The Haunted House With Floss Problems
Why did the ghost moan at tooth hurty? Spectral gum disease is no joke.
21. The Mermaid’s Floss Emergency
At tooth hurty, she surfaced to floss with seaweed—too little, too late for that cavity.
22. The Gold Prospector’s Cursed Filling
He found gold at tooth hurty, but chipped a tooth while biting the nugget.
23. The Chef With Molten Chocolate Issues
At tooth hurty, he sampled a soufflé straight from the oven—his molars filed a lawsuit.
24. The Magician Who Pulled Teeth, Not Rabbits
At tooth hurty, he yelled “Abradabrace!” and accidentally vanished his dentist.
25. The Philosopher’s Dental Dilemma
“To chew or not to chew?” he pondered at tooth hurty, while clutching his aching jaw.
26. The Lawyer Who Bit Off More Than He Could Sue
At tooth hurty, he bit into a contract sandwich and filed a malpractice claim against himself.
27. The Santa Claus With a Sweet Tooth
At tooth hurty, Kris Kringle regretted those 1,047 cookies from the night before.
28. The Alien Dentist From Zogtron
He landed on Earth at tooth hurty, announcing, “We’ve come to cleanse your plaque.”
29. The Mime With a Toothache
At tooth hurty, his silent scream shook the invisible walls of his routine.
30. The Werewolf With Wisdom Teeth
He transformed at tooth hurty—not from the full moon, but from molar madness.
31. The Opera Singer Who Hit A Sour Note
At tooth hurty, she shrieked so loud, her dental crown popped off mid-aria.
32. The Farmer Whose Tractor Knew
His tractor stopped running at tooth hurty. The engine had a cavity in the carburetor.
33. The Dog With Dental Drama
Fido barked at exactly tooth hurty every day—his chew toy was filled with peanut brittle.
34. The Librarian’s Revenge Novel
All characters suffered molar despair at tooth hurty. The plot had bite.
35. The Baker With Sweet Regret
He frosted 200 cupcakes at tooth hurty, then ate one and screamed “Why?!”
36. The Astronaut With a Floating Filling
Zero gravity couldn’t stop the pain at tooth hurty—especially when the filling floated away.
37. The Fortune Cookie Prediction
“Pain will arrive at tooth hurty.” I thought it was vague. It wasn’t.
38. The Skateboarder With Split Enamel
At tooth hurty, he missed the rail and landed face-first into a “grin”-d rail.
39. The Queen With a Royal Ache
At tooth hurty, she knighted her dentist and demanded emergency crown placement.
40. The Sushi Chef With Cold Bites
At tooth hurty, his taste test turned into a full-blown ice dagger to the molar.
41. The Yeti With Yellow Teeth
Why did the Yeti growl at tooth hurty? Floss froze before it reached his gums.
42. The Android With a Plaque Update
At tooth hurty, it auto-installed “Version 2.3: Dental Disaster.”
43. The Caveman With A Club And A Clove
He discovered dentistry the hard way—at tooth hurty, he bit into a rock thinking it was stew.
44. The Tour Guide With Ticking Teeth
He warned us: “This cave echoes worst at tooth hurty.” Then he screamed and disappeared into the dark.
45. The AI That Learned Pain
At tooth hurty, it said: “Now I understand humanity—ouch.”
46. The Plumber Who Couldn’t Pipe Down
Tooth hurty hit, and he shouted, “Call a dentist—my wrench isn’t helping!”
47. The Astral Projection That Went Too Far
Projected myself to another dimension at tooth hurty. Even there, the molars throbbed.
Conclusion
It’s safe to say that in 2025, the “tooth hurty” joke still hasn’t lost its edge—or its ache. These 47 freshly-minted puns prove the joke’s staying power, evolving through space, time, and even fantasy realms, while still managing to get a laugh (and maybe an eye roll). Whether you’re telling them at the dentist’s office or texting one to your kids, there’s always room for another “tooth hurty” zinger in the world of dad jokes. So next time someone asks when the pain started, you know what to say—just make sure you’re smiling when you do.
Related Topics